SOME television presenters announced this week that they had unlocked the secret of ending all cruelty on social media.
Yup, Gary Lineker and Rachel Riley have decided that instead of retweeting the beastly things people say on Twitter, they will simply block them.
Rachel Riley has decided that instead of retweeting the beastly things people say on Twitter, she will simply block them[/caption]
BBC football pundit Gary Lineker has also joined Rachel Riley by blocking trolls — but this will make them feel like winners[/caption]
However, I’m not sure this will work.
Sometimes I get a message on social media suggesting that the world would be a better place if I exploded, or ate myself, or just dropped dead.
And sure, it’s tempting to express my disgust by distributing their thoughts to my friends and fans.
But this, as Mr Lineker and Miss Riley will tell you, simply pumps oxygen on to their fires of hatred. The more abuse they get back from our fans, the more they feel empowered and noticed.
Blocking them won’t work either, because it tells them that I have read their comment and been so hurt by it that I’ve felt the need to take some kind of a stand.
This will make them feel like winners. They may even stage a one-man celebration pizza party in their mum’s loft.
TURN THE OTHER CHEEK. WOULD THAT BE TOO HARD?
And then, having succeeded in getting a response from me, they will wake the next day and fire their hate lasers at someone else.
The fact is that Lineker says things on social media that some people will find offensive. I do the same thing. And if you’re going to express an opinion from the plinth of fame, you MUST accept that people are going to come back at you.
And that sometimes they’re going to use words like “skull” and “nail” and “exterminate”. Occasionally, it’s going to be even worse than that.
However, if we really want to earn the money we are paid, we should roll our eyes and move on.
Because if the fat, lonely b*****ds who sling the mud can’t sling it at us in our ivory towers, they may start to sling it at our children, or somebody else’s children.
There are some horrible people in the world. Communists. Homophobes. Members of Momentum and so on.
Nobody wants to read what they have to say so why can’t people in the public eye simply scroll past it without responding in any way?
Turn the other cheek. Sticks and stones etc. Would that be too hard?
Of course, the tech giants who run these sites could remove the anonymity from serial offenders.
But I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one.
Pushing his Luxembourg
Boris Johnson not taking up his space in the ‘waste of space’ that is Luxembourg[/caption]
THE prime minister of Luxembourg did his bit for Europe this week by humiliating Boris Johnson and everyone in Britain who voted to leave the European Union.
Luxembourg has always been a keen and active Euro state, though, and with good reason. On its own, it’s just a waste of space.
As American comedian Rich Hall once said, Britain didn’t need to join the euro because we have plenty of famous people to put on our banknotes. Luxembourg, on the other hand, had to put missing kittens on its currency.
A COUPLE of climate extinction activists have kept the sex of their baby secret for 17 months.
Even its grandmother hadn’t a clue what it was until she changed its nappy.
The parents say they want to “mitigate the gender bias society places on children”.
Really? So they are saying I started to play with cars because of society and my sister played with dolls because . . . what? Harold Wilson told her to?
I wish the eco-nutters well with their weird world view.
And I also wish nothing but good fortune on the foster parents who may one day be needed to get the kid back into some kind of reasonable shape.
We need a period of Cam
DAVID Cameron has spent all week telling anyone who’ll listen he is to blame for the terrible Brexit fiasco.
He says he is haunted every day by that fateful decision to call a referendum. The fact is, though, that back in the days when we had things other than Brexit to talk about – like the weather – everyone was screaming for a public vote.
Everyone wanted the referendum, so Cameron pulled the pin and shouted ‘charge’ – and absolutely nobody followed him into battle[/caption]
The Lib Dems were even running adverts demanding people have their say. Most of the Tory party and many Labourites were nodding in agreement.
Everyone wanted a winner-takes-all vote to silence the Brexiteers once and for all.
So Cameron pulled the pin and shouted “charge” – and absolutely nobody followed him into battle.
He was out there on his own, flailing around while everyone else sat back and worked out how they could profit if he failed.
Theresa May said she was with him, then hid in a cellar. That snivelling little toerag Corbyn was nowhere to be seen, probably because he was running through some anti-Jewish ideas with his mates in Hamas. And the Lib Dems? They roared like mice.
So Cameron lost and promptly fell on his sword.
Now, I’m bound to say this – because he’s a close neighbour and a friend – but having listened to him all week, I wish he was still there.
And I bet I’m not alone. Politics at the moment is hysterical. It’s full of people shouting and waving their arms in the air, making promises we know full well they cannot keep. It’s like we are governed by a bunch of people making decisions while being boiled.
A return to a bit of Cameron-style quiet strength is just what we need.
Led’s try a better melody
THE fanatically pro-Remain BBC has completely lost faith in referendums and decided that in future, the public will no longer have a say in who represents Britain at the Eurovision Song Contest.
I’m not sure the public are to blame, though, because the choices we’ve been given in recent years have been dismal. We have simply selected the best of a bad lot then watched it come last on the night.
Eurovision — wouldn’t it be far better to simply enter Led Zeppelin doing Stairway To Heaven?[/caption]
Anyway, in a classic piece of BBC pro-European thinking, the selection process has been handed to a German record label.
Of course it has. I’m sure the Germans will do their best to help us win, though.
When I say that, what I mean is: “Why the bloody hell would the Germans want to help us?”
Wouldn’t it be far better to simply enter Led Zeppelin doing Stairway To Heaven? Because I’d like to see the Continent decide some Greek girl with panty-hamsters under each arm shrieking her way though some terpsichorean claptrap is somehow better.
PEDAL TO THE HEAVY METAL
RESEARCHERS have found that listening to loud, fast rock music makes us drive more aggressively.
When volunteers on a simulator were listening to quiet, soppy stuff, they changed lanes about 70 times an hour. But when something like Meat Loaf’s Bat Out Of Hell was fired into their ears, they sped up and changed lanes twice as often.
For me, though, it’s The Archers that really gets the juices flowing. I’ll change lanes 500 times a minute and speed up to 140mph to make sure I get home before it starts.
MOST READ IN OPINION
I WAS approached this week by a company wanting to make sure I could guarantee the rent on my youngest daughter’s student digs.
I didn’t want to say: “Do you know who I am?” But when they asked for my driving licence and “proof” I earned enough to cover a half-share of the rent on a two-bedroom flat in North London, I was sorely tempted.