JEREMY CORBYN is so chicken that you could put him on the menu at Nando’s.
Vote Labour! But not NOW, obviously.
Kick out the wicked Tories!
But, er, let’s wait a bit, shall we?
Whatever way they spin it, Her Majesty’s spineless Opposition looks scared stiff of fighting a General Election.
Yet there is a method to Labour’s craven cowardice.
Labour’s ragbag of terrorist sympathisers, economic illiterates and drooling Marxist nutjobs have identified that they have one fast track to power, the total humiliation of Boris Johnson. Boris promised Brexit — do or die. So Labour will do everything they can to ensure that he dies by conspicuously failing to honour his vow to take us out of the EU by the end of next month.
Labour want Boris to CRAWL back to Brussels, tugging his golden forelock while holding out his begging bowl like some XXL Oliver Twist.
“Please, monsieur, may I have some more extension?”
That clapped-out old chicken Corbyn surely can’t run forever.
Labour calculates that Boris could never survive such a ritual shaming.
And perhaps they are right. I don’t know.
But the clever, cunning comrades STILL look like gutless cowards who are terrified of facing our people.
Labour STILL look like the first opposition party in our nation’s history who are wetting their Y-fronts at the thought of fighting a General Election.
Labour have Boris’ downfall all worked out. And they STILL look chicken.
Jeremy Corbyn, John McDonnell and Keir Starmer can spin it how they like. Millions will simply see trembling wimps who are afraid of facing the electorate. They’ll keep the white flag flying here!
But if Corbyn is a gutless chicken then Boris is behaving too much like a self-destructive lemming. Too keen to crush any dissent. Too quick to come down hard, as when he purged 21 rebel Conservative MPs for voting to stop the UK from ever leaving the EU without a deal.
Yes, it is bloody obvious that any negotiation MUST acknowledge the possibility of negotiations collapsing.
So No Deal should always be a possibility.
But can it be right that the Conservative Party no longer has a place for Winston Churchill’s grandson, Nicholas Soames, a Remainer but who has always said the referendum result should be honoured?
DAMAGE TO HIS CAUSE
And is the broad church of Conservatism now too narrow to accommodate the likes of Rory Stewart?
This is the Conservative Party — not the Spanish Inquisition.
I attended the GQ Men Of The Year Awards on Tuesday night when Rory Stewart collected his Politician Of The Year gong.
Stewart, a thoughtful, softly spoken Army veteran, had just learned that he had been slung out of the Conservative Party for voting against No Deal. He made a quiet, dignified speech about his sadness at losing the Tory whip.
And all those pro-EU luvvies lapped it up because it confirmed their pea-brained notions of Boris as a wicked fascist dictator crushing democracy under the heel of his green wellington jackboots.
Is the broad church of Conservatism now too narrow to accommodate the likes of Rory Stewart?[/caption]
But how these black-tie bigots would have been flummoxed if Boris Johnson’s Tories had a place in their heart for Rory Stewart.
How much stronger Boris — the most affable, optimistic and generous of men — would look if he could be strong enough to accommodate those who disagree with him.
It does real damage to his cause when Boris lashes out so viciously at anyone who strays from the path of true Brexit belief.
Now Tory MP Jo Johnson — Boris’ kid brother — is standing down at the next election.
But if this country is ever going to heal the toxic divisions between us, men and women of goodwill must be free to disagree with each other.
If Brexit is ever going to actually happen, then the Tory Party needs to be a broad church. And a broad church doesn’t burn heretics.
But just hang in there, Boris.
That clapped-out old chicken Corbyn surely can’t run forever.
Excuses won’t fly, so copy Di
THE Duchess of Sussex has hired a team of slick American publicists, Sunshine Sachs, to help her with the launch of Travalyst, a global initiative to protect the environment, encourage conservation and presumably stop people laughing out loud about our favourite eco-warriors.
Princess Diana never needed to wag her finger in anyone’s face[/caption]
Meghan has also hired a Hollywood agent, lawyer and business manager to assist negotiations for her first children’s book.
But what she and her hubby need right now is some common sense.
And a little humility.
Prince Harry and Meghan have only been married since May last year. It is shocking – and bewildering – to see their popularity fall off a cliff.
It is also completely predictable.
The Duke and Duchess of Woke too frequently look like touchy, thin-skinned hypocrites.
Harry and Meghan all too often look like thin-skinned hypocrites[/caption]
Harry tetchily explained that he needs private jets “to ensure my family are safe”.
If Harry and Meghan want to make this world a better place, they must dial down the virtue-signalling lectures.
Princess Diana changed minds about Aids simply by her example.
In 1987, Harry’s mother shook hands with a dying Aids patient in a London hospital, instantly destroying the myth that the virus can be transmitted by touch.
Diana never needed to wag her finger in anyone’s face.
WHAT THE HUQ?
“WOULD you want Brexit to happen now if suddenly the new term was that everybody’s head gets chopped off?” screamed Konnie Huq, former Blue Peter presenter.
When I wonder if we will ever leave the EU, up pops some shrieking, eye-bulging Remainer like Konnie to remind us why Brexiteers are on the right side of history.
It only takes a minute
Lulu’s love affair with David Bowie was for ‘maybe a minute’, according to the Scottish singer[/caption]
TALKING about their affair in the Seventies, Lulu says she was in love with David Bowie for “maybe a minute”.
But Bowie was aware of Lulu years before he became famous. Then he got her to sing on his iconic post-Ziggy covers album Pin Ups.
Then he got her a hit record with his song The Man Who Sold The World.
Lulu may have been in love with Bowie for a minute but I reckon that David was in love with her for a lifetime.
MUM IS A GLASS ACT
IT’S back to school and mum Lisa Sobis celebrated packing off daughters Ruby, eight, and five-year-old Belle by throwing herself a one-woman party complete with novelty hat, balloons and glass of wine.
“My children know I love them dearly, but when the first day of school comes around it is nice to see them off,” says Lisa.
It makes a change from all those cute back-to-school postings on social media.
Personally, my school run traffic hell stops me from breaking out the Prosecco.
Making plans for Nigels
NIGEL SMITH, 56, is making plans for a party for people called Nigel, after learning that no newborns were called Nigel last year.
“Let’s face it, it’s not a popular name,” said Nigel, pub boss at The Fleece in Bretforton, Worcs. “But surely there are enough of us to create our lasting mark.”
Nigel says that his Nigel party on September 28 will welcome non-Nigels, though they will be required to wear a badge making it clear that they are not called Nigel.
Names change with every generation. When I was a kid, my class was full of boys called Ian, Keith and Gary.
And my own name – once quite popular in post-war Britain – has gone right out of fashion.
As soon as Blair started lying about Saddam’s Weapons of Mass Destruction, then anyone called “Tony” was destined to be an endangered species.
At least nobody called Nigel ever invaded Iraq.
No such a bad place after all?
MOST READ IN OPINION
A COUPLE returning from France unwittingly brought a stowaway home in the roof box of their Skoda.
The teenager turned out to be a 17-year-old illegal migrant from Egypt, who waited patiently for the police to arrive. “He was relatively comfortable about being arrested,” said Simon Fenton of Newbury, Berks. “It was job done – he was in the country.”
Funny how the UK is meant to be falling apart and yet everyone still wants to live here. Any reports of illegal migrants trying to smuggle themselves from the UK to France in the roof box of a Skoda?
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